Voluptuous, pretty and without second
thoughts, she seated herself before him. He noticed her smug but
still rather lovely smile, which he felt beckoned to him, inviting
him to have any sort communication with lustful content with her. But
he still had on his mind a dirty old hag whom he had run into fairly
recently, and who pretended he was inviting her for an escapade of
potential intimacy. So he refused all the same to pay much attention
tho the young, dirty and sensually good-looking girl-like lady before
him now.
She noticed his hesitation before her
as a commitment to be faithful to his self-esteem and thoughts of
himself as a dignified man. She did not notice his disgust, which
wasn't about her, anyway, but with an old lady she had nothing to do
with. Even so, she mistook herself about his mind.
She would otherwise almost certainly
have seduced him, eventually probably even into almost blind
egocentricity. But, as it was, she gave up and moved away to the
other table again. He glanced sideways towards her and thought about
her as voluptuous for a reason that he could not figure out. There
was something to her that seemed cunning to him now, although she had
just interrupted herself from succeeding in whatever she was about
with seeming interested in him.
Thinking about it, he figured she was
perhaps into seducing him for his money. But then again, why would
she expect him to be such a rich man. It was then perhaps for some
other reason, such as ... he couldn't think of anything.
Two days later he again met the young
lady, this time in a park, right near his work place. Now she only
looked at him as if he was too proud a fellow to ever get into
contact with. Also, she was walking arm-in-arm with another woman.
This did not say much about her, only that she was not too
extravagantly into only male company.
He was walking alone, just taking a
short break from work. She passed him without noticing his
disappointment with that she seemed to interpret him as - was it
unreachable? It seemed weird for him to think about himself as such.
The girlfriend of the young woman
seemed, though, to notice this disappointment. She looked at him with
an introverted smile, but seemed more content with viewing her
girlfriend as important by his comparison than that she would want to
make her girlfriend change her mind. Possibly she intended, he
thought, to feel about her that she was the only woman in the world
and that no one, no man nor woman, should ever interfere. But more
likely, it seemed, she simply didn't want to get into new people too
easily.
He thought about his wife, how she
would have become jealous, eventually, probably, had he happen to
strike luck, so to speak, with these two girls. He thought then also
about their three children. Their eldest, a daughter, would perhaps
be into blackmailing him in her school. The two younger ones, both
boys, would perhaps both ignore it. Possibly either one could be
annoyed and even angry about it, and perhaps he would eventually have
to leave his whole family because of it.
Now what if he hadn't been married, he
figured for himself. Then perhaps she could have been just about all
the luck in the world, that young woman with the smug smile, and that
girlfriend who seemed into her like a woman to adore and fancy -
potentially, as he imagined it could be, together with whomever she
fancied - and if that would be him, perhaps he would have, as a
single guy become very happy for a while. ... Eventually, though,
perhaps these two young sensual women wouldn't even be happy about
the choice of relationship they had in him. Perhaps they would then
themselves go out and blackmail him, for the sake of feeling good
about their own virtues of being women to be taken by other men -
or perhaps other women, or perhaps both.
Then what would I do, he thought for
himself, if I was this man who had become lonely just because he
didn't have any wife, nor children, to take care of his feelings for
human kindness and warmth. What would I then have done in order to
stay away from the notion of the female gender as always so very very
sensual?
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