Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Voluptuous, pretty and without second thoughts, she seated herself before him. He noticed her smug but still rather lovely smile, which he felt beckoned to him, inviting him to have any sort communication with lustful content with her. But he still had on his mind a dirty old hag whom he had run into fairly recently, and who pretended he was inviting her for an escapade of potential intimacy. So he refused all the same to pay much attention tho the young, dirty and sensually good-looking girl-like lady before him now.
She noticed his hesitation before her as a commitment to be faithful to his self-esteem and thoughts of himself as a dignified man. She did not notice his disgust, which wasn't about her, anyway, but with an old lady she had nothing to do with. Even so, she mistook herself about his mind.
She would otherwise almost certainly have seduced him, eventually probably even into almost blind egocentricity. But, as it was, she gave up and moved away to the other table again. He glanced sideways towards her and thought about her as voluptuous for a reason that he could not figure out. There was something to her that seemed cunning to him now, although she had just interrupted herself from succeeding in whatever she was about with seeming interested in him.
Thinking about it, he figured she was perhaps into seducing him for his money. But then again, why would she expect him to be such a rich man. It was then perhaps for some other reason, such as ... he couldn't think of anything.
Two days later he again met the young lady, this time in a park, right near his work place. Now she only looked at him as if he was too proud a fellow to ever get into contact with. Also, she was walking arm-in-arm with another woman. This did not say much about her, only that she was not too extravagantly into only male company.
He was walking alone, just taking a short break from work. She passed him without noticing his disappointment with that she seemed to interpret him as - was it unreachable? It seemed weird for him to think about himself as such.
The girlfriend of the young woman seemed, though, to notice this disappointment. She looked at him with an introverted smile, but seemed more content with viewing her girlfriend as important by his comparison than that she would want to make her girlfriend change her mind. Possibly she intended, he thought, to feel about her that she was the only woman in the world and that no one, no man nor woman, should ever interfere. But more likely, it seemed, she simply didn't want to get into new people too easily.
He thought about his wife, how she would have become jealous, eventually, probably, had he happen to strike luck, so to speak, with these two girls. He thought then also about their three children. Their eldest, a daughter, would perhaps be into blackmailing him in her school. The two younger ones, both boys, would perhaps both ignore it. Possibly either one could be annoyed and even angry about it, and perhaps he would eventually have to leave his whole family because of it.
Now what if he hadn't been married, he figured for himself. Then perhaps she could have been just about all the luck in the world, that young woman with the smug smile, and that girlfriend who seemed into her like a woman to adore and fancy - potentially, as he imagined it could be, together with whomever she fancied - and if that would be him, perhaps he would have, as a single guy become very happy for a while. ... Eventually, though, perhaps these two young sensual women wouldn't even be happy about the choice of relationship they had in him. Perhaps they would then themselves go out and blackmail him, for the sake of feeling good about their own virtues of being women to be taken by other men - or perhaps other women, or perhaps both.
Then what would I do, he thought for himself, if I was this man who had become lonely just because he didn't have any wife, nor children, to take care of his feelings for human kindness and warmth. What would I then have done in order to stay away from the notion of the female gender as always so very very sensual?