Friday, April 8, 2016
Three siblings, one boy and one girl, who were twins, and one two years younger brother, were taken care of by a maid who very much, it seemed, enjoyed scolding children of above three. She did this a bit cunningly, so that their two parents didn't quite realize that their maid had a gluttony about that she could break their self-confidences a little at a time. She even prided herself in seeming rather innocent, while at the same time taking out her own childhood frustrations on these two - the kids of some other family.
She had developed those frustrations from how her own single mother, mostly, had treated her as a child. But also very much the acquaintances of her mom, including her actual father were guilty of her frustrations. It was not as if she, the mother, was clever at seeing reasons for being mean, but it was the mother who pretended that meanness was to be seen as morals.
The upbringing emerged in the daughter of this single mom didn't see in herself that she didn't have to care about insinuations that said she was being mean. There was thereby an insolence to her against just about anyone who seemed innocent enough for her to despise. By the time she was a maid, her insolence was developed enough to blame her victims, i.e. she used her own insolence for interpreting her victims as insolent.
This happened to both of the twin siblings, for example after they had been to the loo, continuing even until they had just recently had their forth birthday. Thereby, about then, the twin brother at one occasion spied her do to his sister what she also usually did to him. It was not the first them he saw it - not at all - but it was almost the first time he really reflected over it.
Though he did not quite understand what was going on, there was something disturbing for him about it. Because as he watched the maid picked her up and then wiped his sister's behind, he observed her not hesitating about putting her hand upon her downer genitals as well in the process. He thought that as the girl was four years old, she was thereby capable of taking care of that herself. It was not she, but the maid who pretended that this was a nuisance, though. Because the maid seemed angry with her for having to do it. At the same time, though, she had it that she was very fond of herself as the one to seem good at doing this stuff.
He felt kind of sorry for his sister. But at the same time he didn't know if he had enough reason to. But he did know that she hadn't asked the maid to do it for her, any more than they were supposed to do. Because they had been instructed by her to call out for her when they were done at the loo.
He felt it immature, though, that they should be viewed as ridiculous enough not to be able to do it for themselves. But, he figured rather naively, “I guess we both have to learn how to accept that she as a grown-up has the authority - and thereby the right to find herself to be necessary for it!” he thought, and then also reflected over that what he saw seemed to be almost the same scenario as it were with him about a few hours back.
Two weeks later, their parents had told the maid not to wipe their behinds, but have them do it themselves after each visit. The brother had not interpreted this as meaning immediately, though, since the maid had seemed so determined to clean them thoroughly, with very thorough emphasis on her importance for the procedure. So the next time after going to the bathroom, he felt obedient when he as usual called out for the maid. But she was this time very angry at that he didn't do it himself.
That afternoon the maid insulted the mother of twins about that the boy had not realized that he should “even by now consider it important to wipe his own butt!” The mother thereby was insolent, too, against the two of them - especially the boy.
The brother felt afraid because of the maid's insinuation of about him. He felt now that he shouldn't ever trust anyone who seemed innocent enough not to be scrutinized. Moreover he felt like scolding anyone who never seemed to be scolded. Thereby he grew up to be a guy whom people very often interpreted as a disturbed kind of a fellow.
He, on the other hand, felt about himself that he was rather thorough about being moral about everyone around him. He felt also that he never had been into seeing in the people around him that they were the innocent ones. It was even his sister who was not very innocent by his comparison. She one the other hand, unlike the others, kept on feeling for him that he was of an innocent nature, and he thereby was able to feel safe from the insinuations from the other people around him as he grew up.
And as an adult, the guy felt that he was inferior, but still the guy who was the only person who cared about deeper morals - or at least who cared much about them. Thereby he insinuated about people around him that they were never to be seen as his friends unless they were capable of having it one should not trust those who advocated for those who seemed totally innocent on the surface.