Can one ever Know who is Behind what?

Marmsbrook retreat for psychological rehabilitation was situated in a fairly large forest, with only a private road that led there. There was a high fence around its yard, with a gate in it, which virtually always locked. There was also a garage (that was continuous with the fence) on one side, for staff members – and occasionally one or two of the patients – to park their cars. It could be entered by foot from the yard – by those who had keys. On the other side, though outside the fence, there was a small pond fairly nearby. In it some of the patients occasionally were allowed to go swimming or fishing, usually with at least one escorting staff member.

The rehabilitation was specialized on patients that apparently had become dangerous because of abuse. With this in mind the staff were discussing who was how much of a hidden abuser in their different patients. An old nurse, named Eva, said that for at least some – and perhaps many – of them such hidden abuse evidently came first and foremost from their mothers. She talked especially about two siblings (a brother and a sister), both of whom she had known for more than five years. “I know that both of them are so obnoxious that one would believe there's a father behind it. But, firstly, they have different fathers, but their behaviors are alike. Secondly neither of the fathers had very much to do with that child of his.”

The manager, a fairly chubby old man, hardly seemed agree. “But in that case,” he responded, “ she, the mother, would have to have been abusive in the sense that she didn't care about them – but she evidently has cared. Wouldn't it be more likely that they both felt drawn others, who mislead them? Because, there's no sign, in either one of them, of caring to acknowledge it when someone else has a stressful situation. It is they who don't care in that sense, who usually have been abused by either a father or some other male authority. Are you implying that these two are telling examples of the opposite?”

Eva looked thoughtful. “Yeah! I need to see them as telling examples of that it really must have been their mom. Because neither of them has really had much of any male authority about them. Didn't you know that?”

He cleared his throat. “In a sense,” he said after a while, “the abuse can be partly their mothers. In an other, the main abusers must have been more capable than she is of domination and callous brutality.”

“I have,” Eva objected, “investigated those possibilities, and it seems that neither of them can have been abused so much by anyone that it can compete with their mother's influence.”

Another nurse, Carla, said: “The sister seems to be into that her abuse was about being manipulated! She has had it there was no escaping mom's tricky make-believe about her that she is abusive herself. Thereby she cannot escape the notion of there being no moral to associate to.”

Both the manager and Eva looked thoughtful. For a while there was a silence, then a male nurse, Tony, broke in: “So has the other one – at least perhaps, or in a sense. Because he has confessed to me that there was no means by which he could easily feel that softness actually was trustworthy!”

Eva inhaled audibly. “Exactly!” she asserted. “That's exactly the impression I have. I mean of the both of them! Exactly that!”

“Hm, well, in that case,” the manager muttered, “I'll have to try to reconsider and re-adapt our treatment program a bit. But, as far as I can tell, I cannot, as of yet, assume that there is no actual implications of that the responsibilities of the involved have to be conformed to in any other sense than that I can have it there's no complex issues about this type of situation.” With that he closed the meeting.

Why Don't They Seem Guilty of Pretension?

On a park bench, Nina and Harold discussed an issue they both felt was disturbing. It was about manipulators who seemed to view themselves as attractive even though they weren't what – anyone, probably – wanted.

“As if,” he said, “they don't have to deal with that they are manipulators.”

“yeah, it's weird.” She looked downwards for a second before adding: “Is it really true, that no one would believe their story about them?”

“Hardly,” he answered.

“So how can they get away with it?”

“If you mean Peter, then it's because when he intimidates, they fall for the illusion of his power being an absolute notion of threat against their integrity. Probably they feel they can't oppose him without him being able to seem real about himself, in a sense that doesn't make him feel small. ... Of course some feel threatened simply because he's a macho guy. But that can hardly be the most important aspect of it!”

She looked thoughtful. “That dude! Well he isn't really a nuisance until one finds out that what he really wants is to seem worthy of everyone's sexual interests!”

“No! I know! I could have been wrong about him, for a while, also.”

“Hm. When such people pretend to be worthy of one's attention, they mask sometimes themselves behind that one can make a mistake, occasionally, about one or two others, who don't really want to fake that stuff – but about whom one might imagine it. When he for example pretended I was a someone who didn't know my own interests if I didn't respond they way he wanted, then he also suggested that his kid brother who actually would be there and fake it even worse! But that kid brother of his, ah, he isn't really that much of a fake. He's sort of about it, wants it, but he isn't into enforcing himself upon someone, I think. At least not very easily, that is.”

“Hm, no, I agree. He cares about humility as a virtue, I guess.”

“Who wouldn't with such a big bro?” She giggled.

He looked thoughtful. “How about those two whom you were intimidated by for being callow, Steve and Jenny? They both are siblings of Dan. Ehm, you know, Dan, that tough guy who seems fond of pretending his religion is a call for saying he's innocent even when he can't be. i think they both are younger than he is.”

“That's different! They feel they are secure, probably, with him about and protesting about whatever goes against them as well as himself.”

“I guess being that way is something that makes him feel that he has a right to pretend everyone else is mediocre, and thereby that he should get his dick into anyone who perhaps is into anything of that kind.”

“That's why I feel that these types of fellows are all about trying to be into sex although they shouldn't have it!”

“Exactly that is what either of them could have as the target of their insinuations about themselves as those fellow victims of being unjustly accused!”

She sat and stared for a while. “You know, I would like to cry about this, but I can't because those guys have had it my tears are about me being especially sensitive about not being able to admit that I want them.”

“Have both of them done that?”

“Yeah!”

“Exactly those two, then?”

“One more guy has, and then one woman has done it too, actually.”

He thought for himself, for a while. Then he stood up and proclaimed: “I don't feel any woman is about that trick. If you have it that woman – who is it by the way? – had it in her, then you probably can see it in the way she manipulates for seeming real about love. ...”

“It's old Beatrice. ... She does pretend it!”

“Oh ... her. Yeah, OK!”

“You see! There is one.”

“Hm. Yeah, OK, that's one! ... Strange for me that I didn't realize it! She has actually almost done it to me as well. But, you know what? She simply pretends there's no point in seeming uninterested in her. It's not she, but guys who can seem like they're worthy of it without seeming to pretend they're appreciating themselves for no reason!”