Cool Ways of Considering Them the Dirt Needed for Being Deleterious

“I don't consider them scary!” she bragged, when her mother talked about “those evil boys” on the block.

Her mom looked surprised and said: “Darling, you don't have to pretend they're not scary enough for you to say that you don't want to be with them! I know, for certain, that you don't have a notion of them as being the same as us! We are not like the boys! We are not silly enough to pretend is's cool to be into really pretend everyone should be mistreated and then labelled as immature when they aren't ready for it!”

“I can't find it in me to find them to be scary, just the same, mom! Because I find it in them to be frightening only if one pertains to acquittal, prudery and such!”

Her mother looked at her in slight chock. It was not she who was at all like her daughter about this! It was this type of attitude she would have expected only from a man!

“It's not very easy,” she said at length, “to find them to be of acquittal and prudery, or so, for the sake of being a prude person oneself! But I guess you really feel they are smart enough to want to be with them! And thereby you pretend to be as uppish as they are! ... Don't even see yourself as my daughter anymore! I consider you hereby to be not of my family, but only the filth I really had to cope with and thereby have to deal with as if she were my own flesh and blood!”

“Mom, I don't have to deal with that you no longer feel up to being a parent! After all, you find it in me to be just like yourself! Because, otherwise, how come they fucked you in the first place, the boys - like my dad, whom you fucked just so that I could enter that stomach of yours, and become this so-called filth that you had to deal with!”

Shocked again, Lisa's mother took a deep breath. “I,” she said, “never dealt with them as if they were anything but the kinda filth that I wanted only for the sake of bedtime glory! I wasn't after it for anything but for the sake of money and lust for the sex that doesn't deal with lust as though it shouldn't be there!”

“I know, mom! that's why I say it!”

Her mother looked astonished. “It's why you say what?!” she burst out.

Lisa sighed. “Mom, I don't say what, because you don't need me to say who I am! Remember, I'm not your daughter, and according to your standards, consequently, I'm not the type of girl you should want to know anything about!”

Her mother looked at her, puzzled this time over her insolence about her lack of care about her family. “Look, Lisa, I didn't mean that when I said you were not to be at all what I consider my responsibility! I mean I have to look after yo, because it is stated in the law! Thereby you should speak to me now, and tell me what you think it means that those boys aren't ready to see moral as something worthwhile - and not just pretend for me that you are not my responsibility! ... I have, for the sake of spite tried to figure them out, but now that I, in the first place, can't find it in you to be like myself, now I have to ask what they - and thereby you - are all about!”

Lisa looked at her mother with some respect for her with slight avidity for her aspirations. It seemed now to her that her mother was of the cunning kind that shouldn't be treated as though they had a point of view that wasn't to be respected. “I consider myself,” she said at last, “to be the filthy type of woman, whom they shall try to find out about how they can find her to be robust enough to be reckoned with without hesitation as the one to be viewed as clear enough on their points not to be trouble for them. I mean I can find it in me to be of the sort that doesn't seem to be filthy, but still can seem to be real about their points about being masculine! Thereby I'm always filthy! See how I find myself at home with never even bothering to stand up against being nasty and downright dirty with my horny will to see it in myself not to be of anything but the type of hardy attitudes that are necessary to be with those types of fellas!”

Her mother looked down, seemingly thoughtful about why she hadn't figured this out about them. After a while, she opened up and said: “I too can start to be down-right dirty, then, with them! I too can find it in me to actually understand them just as long as I'm down-and-right dirty, dear! From now on, thereby, I will not scold you for having such an attitude! It's just that form now on I will no longer be the mom that you can consider to be a caring guardian of the life that we have! So, you and I can from here on try to understand these fellows without trying to be into seeing them as the supreme beings they seem to be otherwise! From now on, I too will be filthy about them! From now on, I too will pretend for them that they are just the same as the notion of filth that I have in my body for it! ... Cool stuff that you happened to figure out a way to deal with those gangsters, just as I was giving up on really being into trying, even, to deal with them!”

“Okay, mom! Then you and I shall, from here on, be filthy about them all! Okay, let's start to deal with them as such, mom!” the daughter said happily.

“I see that they won't be the trouble I thought they were, then! But how come, Lisa, do you find it in them not to be crude enough not to be considered weird or at least awkward when it comes to society's requirements of us pertaining to humility and so?!”

“I don't consider them to be worthy of my attention for that sake, ma! I just dig them enough to find them to be amusing for me when I want to be really crude! I don't want to be dirty all the time!”

Seductive Cunning

Voluptuous, pretty and without second thoughts, she seated herself before him. He noticed her smug but still rather lovely smile, which he felt beckoned to him, inviting him to have any sort communication with lustful content with her. But he still had on his mind a dirty old hag whom he had run into fairly recently, and who pretended he was inviting her for an escapade of potential intimacy. So he refused all the same to pay much attention tho the young, dirty and sensually good-looking girl-like lady before him now.

She noticed his hesitation before her as a commitment to be faithful to his self-esteem and thoughts of himself as a dignified man. She did not notice his disgust, which wasn't about her, anyway, but with an old lady she had nothing to do with. Even so, she mistook herself about his mind.

She would otherwise almost certainly have seduced him, eventually probably even into almost blind egocentricity. But, as it was, she gave up and moved away to the other table again. He glanced sideways towards her and thought about her as voluptuous for a reason that he could not figure out. There was something to her that seemed cunning to him now, although she had just interrupted herself from succeeding in whatever she was about with seeming interested in him.

Thinking about it, he figured she was perhaps into seducing him for his money. But then again, why would she expect him to be such a rich man. It was then perhaps for some other reason, such as ... he couldn't think of anything.

Two days later he again met the young lady, this time in a park, right near his work place. Now she only looked at him as if he was too proud a fellow to ever get into contact with. Also, she was walking arm-in-arm with another woman. This did not say much about her, only that she was not too extravagantly into only male company.

He was walking alone, just taking a short break from work. She passed him without noticing his disappointment with that she seemed to interpret him as - was it unreachable? It seemed weird for him to think about himself as such.

The girlfriend of the young woman seemed, though, to notice this disappointment. She looked at him with an introverted smile, but seemed more content with viewing her girlfriend as important by his comparison than that she would want to make her girlfriend change her mind. Possibly she intended, he thought, to feel about her that she was the only woman in the world and that no one, no man nor woman, should ever interfere. But more likely, it seemed, she simply didn't want to get into new people too easily.

He thought about his wife, how she would have become jealous, eventually, probably, had he happen to strike luck, so to speak, with these two girls. He thought then also about their three children. Their eldest, a daughter, would perhaps be into blackmailing him in her school. The two younger ones, both boys, would perhaps both ignore it. Possibly either one could be annoyed and even angry about it, and perhaps he would eventually have to leave his whole family because of it.

Now what if he hadn't been married, he figured for himself. Then perhaps she could have been just about all the luck in the world, that young woman with the smug smile, and that girlfriend who seemed into her like a woman to adore and fancy - potentially, as he imagined it could be, together with whomever she fancied - and if that would be him, perhaps he would have, as a single guy become very happy for a while. ... Eventually, though, perhaps these two young sensual women wouldn't even be happy about the choice of relationship they had in him. Perhaps they would then themselves go out and blackmail him, for the sake of feeling good about their own virtues of being women to be taken by other men - or perhaps other women, or perhaps both.

Then what would I do, he thought for himself, if I was this man who had become lonely just because he didn't have any wife, nor children, to take care of his feelings for human kindness and warmth. What would I then have done in order to stay away from the notion of the female gender as always so very very sensual?

The Family

“Why,” the mother asked, “do you find it in me to support those enemies of theirs?!”

“It's because,” Julie, one her four children, answered, “there's no point in pretending, otherwise, for you, that they are loyal with us!”

“I agree!” her son Dean said. “And moreover they wouldn't be the one's to be loyal with, even enough for there to be a nuisance for you in that we accuse them!”

The two other siblings seemed to agree as well.

“I support them only to the extent that they are good people! So to the extent you don't support my loyalty to them, then you have an disloyalty towards God and care for Jesus!”

Julie looked at her. She found her to be amusing, or so it seemed. Dean and the two others looked at her, and wondered if she was going to say something. She didn't at first. Instead her brother Charlie asked her: Is it that she talks Jesus you're laughing at, or is it that she's totally wrong about what moral is and that she still keeps on insinuating that even Jesus is with her about this?”

“It's because she speaks Jesus!” Julie answered. “And it's also because she speaks moral as if she really knew what she was up to!”

Charlie looked at her. He couldn't figure out if she by speaking Jesus meant to mention him at all, or to pretend he was even part of the whole conspiracy that he felt their mother had.

Dean also looked at her. He found her to be smart at saying what there was to say, but not smart enough at saying exactly what one should to such a woman as the one they had in their mother.

The forth sibling, Anton, stood for that the mother was sort of with Jesus and sort of with the mentioned enemies. He did not think that Jesus were with those enemies of the people that stood for him. Thereby he concluded that since they didn't stand for Jesus the way he knew his mother to, she must be loyal with them for the sake of an advantage over the sort of people who weren't much of loyal with Jesus.

The mother looked at her four children. She seemed to be indifferent to what they wanted to believe her to be. At the same time, though, she stood there with an air of that she wouldn't be the woman to be anything but well-liked, by anyone - including her children - who cared not to expect the devil's sophisticated attitude to be his or her ally for it. for the sake of seeming innocent she said: “I thereby see in her that she is loyal with Jesus only on the surface! We shall thereby from here on dismiss her from most of our family loyalties with her!”

Dean looked at Julie, then he said: “I can't see much of a reason to be disloyal with her just for that!”

“Me neither!” Anton said.

Charlie looked at the two of them, then said: “I will be loyal with my family, but not with the parts of it that speak ill of the rest of us.”

The mother looked at them and sighed with an air of grandiloquence. She also radiated something of love for her family. It was not until she smiled that the four siblings understood where she was coming from: “I cannot see in my family that they have as much loyalty with God as I have! I can, though, see in them that they do not care for caring for idolatrous people. It seems, perhaps, that I wold be the one to care too much for such people?! But what I have in them is not to see me as a believer in masses of different loyalties, but to view me as a friend of their loyalties to that I can lead them to become Christian some day.”

Julie sighed. “Mom! You don't have to be Christian in order to be well-liked among them! It is not they who will be happy when they one day discover you have simply been trying to lead them into Christianity! They will not be loyal with Christ! They are as heathen as the people of the sunshine route of the Quat-Evinhoe constitutional establishment!”

The mother looked at her and answered: “I will have nothing to do the people of Quat-Evinhoe! But I will, I assure convince some of these new friends to eventually become Christian! They will, I assure you, love Christian ideology just as much as we all should be doing by now, because I have seen it in them that they are almost as Christian as Dean and his friends.

Dean looked at the others. “I cannot see why they all seem to be faking that they are about as I! I cannot see in them that they are anything better at being a Christian than those people who never see any light at all when they are ... on the other side!”

Charlie and Anton exchanged glances for a few moments, then Anton said: “I don't get it! Firstly you,” he indicated his Dean and his mother, “stand for seeming Christian in the sense that you stay loyal with being clear on what is morally smart in sense of authority! Secondly you tend to pretend that I am not loyal with the notions of being moral, just because I'm not as impressive about it! Thirdly you look at Julie as sort of not to be viewed as smart at being distinct and pronounced at what she is of clear on what is real and what isn't! But then you also pretend I am not to be seen as clear on what is smart for us all to be apparent and evidently sincere about - and that without me being disloyal with my family or anything that we all want to be presented as!”

His mother looked at him and answered: “It is not to our benefit to seem loyal with seeming responsibility for seeming clarity of sincerity! It is not to our benefit to pretend to be loyal with just about anything that is clear on seeming adapted enough to standards of love and understanding! It is not to our advantage to pretend as if something about those who are subordinate as if they were good enough to be seen as anything but parsimoniously into faking that they are worthy of our attention!”

Julie looked up :”Now I finally get that part! You seem to be good enough for worthiness of superb quality! But that's just because you don't view worthiness as much else than power or at least the ability to empower oneself to seek obvious worths in one's vicinity and so.”

Charlie looked at the mother and said: “Perhaps you then can understand that I also am within the vicinity of worths for the sake of seeing in oneself that one is of value that is unbreakable! Perhaps you and the others,” he looked at his siblings, “can find in me to be of worth to you! The sense it makes to fake that I am not moral is what it seems to be that goes with the notion of them to be the assumptions about worth that we should want to get into contact with!”

Anton looked at Charlie and then their mother. “If you really feel we are not to be viewed as sincere unless we are of value for those who take for granted we are not Christian, then how come we all should to tend to unfrock Julie and perhaps others of us? How come we aught to be a family that unfrocks just about anyone except those who are not Christian for the sake of Christianity?!”

His mother looked at him and said: “It's not in your business to be regarding them as none-Christians! It is in our business to care for morals in the sense that wakes the Christian spirit in them all! Thereby I declare it to be nonsense that you all should be distrusting me about my value for this family for the sake of reassuring ourselves against those who find themselves not to be part of Christ's faith! I declare, thereby, there be no discussion about your sister! And I declare there be no further responsibility towards her!”

Julie looked at her mother as if for the first time. Then she stated: “I should have said this to begin with: I is not true that my mother is ever a good-hearted woman! And I should have shown that she wasn't, even for our neighbours! Now that you are pretending that I aught be excommunicated, now that you pretend I'm something of a misfit, now you have really showed who is the bad person of our family!”

Her three brothers looked at her. After a while Charlie spoke. “It isn't, of course, only one person who is the devil of a given context! It is she, not we, who should, though, be seen as the bad person who wants to excommunicate someone for tending to obstruct Jesus from emphasizing his existence so very much! So, I look at the situation and it becomes clear that she is the bad person among us who doesn't even care to excommunicate those who never see Jesus as their superior in the first place! Now how come you, mom, want to see her as worse than that?!”

“There isn't any way to view Jesus as a smart person if one doesn't excommunicate at least those close to oneself to the extent they don't pertain to that being a moral thing to view Jesus as!” With that she ended the discussion by saying: “From now on we shall not anymore say to one another that there are any notions of there not being Christ, not unless there is reason to believe unbelievers will, if we chose not to, learn, sooner or later, how to believe!”

She left them to themselves by going upstairs. The three brothers looked at their sister and Anton said: “I guess this sort means you are to be viewed as not with us anymore! I wonder if she is going to fake that you need to be treated at a correctional facility or something!”

Julie looked at him. “I guess they, she and dad, sooner or later will! That is, if they don't immediately, I think they will when they find that I still can be talking to for example you!” With that she left her three brothers and went upstairs to her room, carefully avoiding having to face her mother on the way there. ...

The Maid

Three siblings, one boy and one girl, who were twins, and one two years younger brother, were taken care of by a maid who very much, it seemed, enjoyed scolding children of above three. She did this a bit cunningly, so that their two parents didn't quite realize that their maid had a gluttony about that she could break their self-confidences a little at a time. She even prided herself in seeming rather innocent, while at the same time taking out her own childhood frustrations on these two - the kids of some other family.

She had developed those frustrations from how her own single mother, mostly, had treated her as a child. But also very much the acquaintances of her mom, including her actual father were guilty of her frustrations. It was not as if she, the mother, was clever at seeing reasons for being mean, but it was the mother who pretended that meanness was to be seen as morals.

The upbringing emerged in the daughter of this single mom didn't see in herself that she didn't have to care about insinuations that said she was being mean. There was thereby an insolence to her against just about anyone who seemed innocent enough for her to despise. By the time she was a maid, her insolence was developed enough to blame her victims, i.e. she used her own insolence for interpreting her victims as insolent.

This happened to both of the twin siblings, for example after they had been to the loo, continuing even until they had just recently had their forth birthday. Thereby, about then, the twin brother at one occasion spied her do to his sister what she also usually did to him. It was not the first them he saw it - not at all - but it was almost the first time he really reflected over it.

Though he did not quite understand what was going on, there was something disturbing for him about it. Because as he watched the maid picked her up and then wiped his sister's behind, he observed her not hesitating about putting her hand upon her downer genitals as well in the process. He thought that as the girl was four years old, she was thereby capable of taking care of that herself. It was not she, but the maid who pretended that this was a nuisance, though. Because the maid seemed angry with her for having to do it. At the same time, though, she had it that she was very fond of herself as the one to seem good at doing this stuff.

He felt kind of sorry for his sister. But at the same time he didn't know if he had enough reason to. But he did know that she hadn't asked the maid to do it for her, any more than they were supposed to do. Because they had been instructed by her to call out for her when they were done at the loo.

He felt it immature, though, that they should be viewed as ridiculous enough not to be able to do it for themselves. But, he figured rather naively, “I guess we both have to learn how to accept that she as a grown-up has the authority - and thereby the right to find herself to be necessary for it!” he thought, and then also reflected over that what he saw seemed to be almost the same scenario as it were with him about a few hours back.

Two weeks later, their parents had told the maid not to wipe their behinds, but have them do it themselves after each visit. The brother had not interpreted this as meaning immediately, though, since the maid had seemed so determined to clean them thoroughly, with very thorough emphasis on her importance for the procedure. So the next time after going to the bathroom, he felt obedient when he as usual called out for the maid. But she was this time very angry at that he didn't do it himself.

That afternoon the maid insulted the mother of twins about that the boy had not realized that he should “even by now consider it important to wipe his own butt!” The mother thereby was insolent, too, against the two of them - especially the boy.

The brother felt afraid because of the maid's insinuation of about him. He felt now that he shouldn't ever trust anyone who seemed innocent enough not to be scrutinized. Moreover he felt like scolding anyone who never seemed to be scolded. Thereby he grew up to be a guy whom people very often interpreted as a disturbed kind of a fellow.

He, on the other hand, felt about himself that he was rather thorough about being moral about everyone around him. He felt also that he never had been into seeing in the people around him that they were the innocent ones. It was even his sister who was not very innocent by his comparison. She one the other hand, unlike the others, kept on feeling for him that he was of an innocent nature, and he thereby was able to feel safe from the insinuations from the other people around him as he grew up.

And as an adult, the guy felt that he was inferior, but still the guy who was the only person who cared about deeper morals - or at least who cared much about them. Thereby he insinuated about people around him that they were never to be seen as his friends unless they were capable of having it one should not trust those who advocated for those who seemed totally innocent on the surface.

The Cool Girl

Without any regrets  -  and even with pride  -  she had observed the two of them fade from clarity on how to deal with themselves as even remotely able to live life fully. She had it in a friend to establish them as ridiculous, which he did for her, while she verified them as inadequate for life the real way. This had been going on for about two years when they finally met up with them in order to finish it off.

It was her friend who had recently had it they were not real human beings. “They are simply,” he had put it, “pretend human beings, and neither intelligent not adequate as she or he himself!” She had answered him that “They certainly don't act anymore real than they are in their fantasies! Therefore we should destroy them forever, so that their souls will never be here and disturb our certainties of ourselves as the kinds of superior beings that they will never reach the essence of!”

He smiled a big smug smile at this. She smiled a smaller, but also very smug, smile about it. Rather than staying together about it, though, they moved away from each other. He moved towards the cycles that were parked a few hundred yards away from were they had spoken to each other. She moved towards the ice-cream bar, where she bought a big cone of frozen vanilla-and-melon ice cream. When there, she noticed two dudes hanging out with their attitudes matching a certainty of being into the same kinds of thoughts as she and Anton had just discussed. “Hello, I'm Anna!” she said. “I very much feel like keeping you company for a while!”

“I certainly find you to be a worthy companion for a while,” one of them said, “but I can't say I really like you to the extent that I will let you stay if you don't tell us what you and Anton were just discussing!”

“Oh, it was just about the freaks we've been having it are so inadequate that they don't fit in either to society nor even to the circle of acquaintances that we have!”

The other dude now broke in: “If they are so freaky then how come he and you are here to discuss their whereabouts and not out there harassing them so they can't even survive in our world!?”

Anna heard Anton start his motor cycle. She reflected over it for a moment, but decided that there was no use in thinking about him for the sake of feeling worth it for these two others she wanted to hang around with. So instead she answered him without any further reflections about her friend.

“It's because they're freaky,” she said, “in a way that doesn't show unless we get at their phoney adequacy for society and/or the acquaintances that we have! It's they who pretend to be silly so that they can also pretend to be good enough for society, just that they don't fit in there yet!”

“And therefore, I guess, you need to freak out against them, just so they can freak back against you!? Is that it!?” the second broke in.

Now Anna thought about Anton again, because it gave her some self-esteem to add his views of the world to her own before answering: “No! You don't know what you're talking about!” she said with an esteem much like the one he always had in this sort of situation. “It's not true that we have any real enemy there! We don't have to pursue them! It's not worthy our time to spend it by pursuing such people! Instead we will have it they never are any good at anything without being any more of assholes on the surface than they are on their so pathetic, but sort-of good-enough, surfaces!”

“Oh!” the man who spoke first broke out. “How come then, they are the trouble we all have to avoid!? Because both you, Anton and the rest of you gang have all been seemingly into pretending - at least - that we should be doing that!”

“I don't know what you're talking about! If it has seemed that way, then I've better go talk to the others about it!”

“You go do that, then!” the other dude said.

“I don't know what makes them think I want people to avoid those freaks! I just want them to be seen as the freaks that are not to adequate to hang around with! They seem not to be anything but silly enough to be the ones that you would be avoiding anyway, so why the fuck are they pretending you should be warned or something?!”

“I don't know why! But now, as I said, you should go there and talk to the ones that are here in this facility, and not stand here and talk to us!”

The other guy looked at him. Then he added: “Why in the world does this lady think they are worth the time of even thinking about? They seem to be too really freaky to be seemingly even anything but the nuisanceses that aren't worth it to deal with! So how come this scum bag of a woman is here wasting our time about them!?”

Whimpering about this last remark, Anna left the two of them and said to herself: “I never want to talk to those two again! They seem to be so stuck up that I never want to ever think about hem as my friends, nor even my acquaintances again!” With that she decided to pretend that they were so stuck up that they never minded those freaks that were too low to ever set foot in this facility for the not-so-freaky but cool-enough-for-party and good-enough-for-joy people!

A Convincing Woman of Sending-to-Coventry Bullying

“Ohh, I'm so sorry about it” she whimpered. It was almost an insult for him to hear her of all people say it. It was an insult against not only himself, but also against the people who really could be whimpering like that about their own lack conscience. Cause somehow this woman was impossible as what she very much seemed to be by behaving this way, namely someone who deep inside cared. It was not she, Freddie knew, who really cared, because she had fooled the others into having the kind of an attitude he had been complaining about.

It was moreover almost impossible, also, that all of the others had a conscience about it, he felt, since they were all more or less taking part in letting her be their representative. She whined on about how she still cared, and how the others had tricked her into not caring. Meanwhile all of the others, or so it seemed, felt sorry for her. Even so, Freddie knew that Suzanne had lied. She had no real conscience whatsoever about him. Nor could he believe he had much of a conscience about all of the others - except, that is, a slight conscience about their evil sides. This conscience she really learned to whine about as though she was innocent, he thought for himself.

It had been a severe blackmail against all his efforts had been about. It had been and was still a destructive smartness against there seeming to be any good enough effort in him, even though he had struggled and worked on being thorough so much more about this than both his own usual efforts - in for example school - and the efforts others made for establishing the reality of life be real and not pretend benefits for all. This she had blackmailed by seeming innocent when she reasoned as if they - the others - suffered because of Freddie. Recently though, someone had come up with that they actually were wrong in distrusting Fred. But then the whining of the guilty woman herself made mockery of the potential happiness Freddie could have about it!

Peter looked at Suzanne and said: “We are all just grateful to be here when it seems to be us that everyone should be triumphing about as good friends! I think even that weird old Freddie should be seen as a friend sometimes! How about I see to it that he finds us to be good friends just for once!?”

“I suppose you can do it!” Suzanne answered. “But I also suppose you will pretend that it's I and not you who is the guilty one about all this! Therefore you should not speak to the man! It is important that none of us tries to blackmail the other! Remember that Peter! That is the code of essence in being innocent for all that there is to it - and to this world - and about Christ!” she stated.

Freddie looked at them speaking. “I have no reason to like either one of them,” he said to himself. “But even so, I could have somehow, I guess, have trusted that rogue Peter a little, if she had not stopped him.” His words were silent, but they looked at him as though they, at least sort of, guessed them. That is, at least four of the ten people around Freddie seemed to be intuitive about his feelings. Those four did not include Suzanne - nor even Peter, at all. But one of the four, whom Freddie had found that in, said: “Wow, it seems like the guy is peculiar about himself as the victim of the circumstance again!” Then, Freddie got the point that neither he, nor probably the others had any good notion about his points of view. But they all bore a facade of caring about him, it seemed to him now, that said that they would care enough not to make that kind of a mistake. “It's all fake! They're all fake!” he thought for himself.

Suzanne now began to speak and said that “Even though it's evil of Freddie not to ever seem to care about the humility in us others, we still can care about him in the sense that we care about the sense there is in seeming innocent when we are into not being it! That way we all can seem innocent when we are!” she boasted. And even though Fred naturally saw through her, it really seemed innocent of her to have that point of view.

It seemed evil for Freddie that they boasted about their morals, about all of them did. They seemed innocent on the surface, but guilty as the devil's superiors in being evil underneath.

For the sake of relief from her immediate insinuations that she was superb as the devil himself, Freddie said to himself: “It is not even worth it to try to understand this woman! She's just all wretched, just all evil, just all bad!”

Another, younger, Suzanne looked at her, and then him, and then at her again. Then she asked: “How about you and I try to go out to dine together?”

“Who do you mean?” Freddie, and then also the older Suzanne asked her.

“I meant either one of you! Perhaps we could even go to dinner all three of us!” she answered.

“No, I don't think so!” the older Suzanne said proudly. “I want ot be where my friends are, not where this sort of a semi-brute is!”

“Okay!” the younger Suzanne said. “But how come you and your family always claim to be so truthful that we shouldn't ever be able to seem blackmailed by what you say about me, or the others among my acquaintances? Because I, for one, feel blackmailed by that you seem to all the them say to people that it is 'the other Suzanne' who is pretending to be innocent!”

Freddie looked at them and then established for himself that they didn't like one another enough to really be into blackmailing him as intensely as he thought they had. This was to some alleviation for him. But he had the notion that they still much prided themselves about bullying him, and then seeming too innocent to ever have done it. For the sake of ridding - or at least alleviating - himself of this notion, he asked out loud: “What do they think they can find in pretending am everyone's not-to-be-trusted type of fellow, when they can't even find in themselves not to handle me as the worst type of guy there is, apart from when they really see it in each other what the other person's bad sides are?!”

The younger Suzanne looked at him. “I have never said you were a really bad - or not-to-be-trusted - type of person! Even so, I feel right now that you are bad enough not to trust me even though I was going to ask you for a date! Now, how come you seem to be so innocent when all you do is complain about us other people?!”

“It is not I who should not complain,” he replied. “On the contrary I feel very much that even you go behind my back and that even though we could have dated you would just have used that date as an excuse for further blackmail further along!”

She looked at him and replied: “How about you and I go out on a date even so, Fred?”

He looked at her. “I guess I get that kind of notion about you that you're not too innocent to hang around with! So I feel I cannot feel for you what I have to feel that a trust worthy woman should be! Even if we two can get along, there on that date, I believe we cannot find in each other to be a person to trust, respectively, apart from if we really get along so that we never tend to hide anything from each other, which I find impossible - from looking at you!”

The older Suzanne looked at the younger Suzanne. “I feel you and I should go out on a date without Freddie! Then you and I can get along and he will have to blame himself for that!” With that the two of them greeted each other to a successful series of possibilities that could and probably would, sooner or later, lead to freer belief in themselves as good people, and Fred as the real evil guy. ...

The Newcomer

“Killer!” Peter established. “The guy is a real lunatic, and you know what? He's also going to kill me for having to kill her in first place!”

“Oh! That's a dangerous man!” Carl agreed.

“Then,” Sophie proclaimed, “we should all just see to it we can't be found out about, right?!”

“Right!” Two of the others said at once. All seven who were gathered felt that they should be able to kill the four of them soon enough not to be discovered by the police or something.

“But why,” a guy who tended to be into faking that he was a journalist named Benny Ray said. His actual name was Andrew, but he always, almost, called himself Benny. “Why should we seem to be innocent when all they respect is violence and so!?”

“Ben, we don't all have to agree that you are as smart as they think you are! It's not about your newspaper now! It's about that they don't want to seem dangerous, and neither should we! By the way, I think they shouldn't be expected to take it seriously if the news papers seem to think we are smart at being killers too!”

The guy who pretended to be a reporter looked at him, and answered: “Look, I have the real competence to fake that we're into both innocence and guilt, so much at the same time that we really can be respected by both parties. Both those who are violent and those who are like us!”

“Look,” Leslie broke in, “it's not really too important whether or not he, the guy your imitating, will propose us to be seen as baad people, or good ones! It's about to which extent they believe that we have the potential to deal with them as those kinds of people who are super smart to kill.”

Andrew looked at her, as himself for a while. Then he changed his appearance back to being Benny Ray, and answered: “Don't dare to say to us that we shouldn't be portraying that in the media! Don't dare to say to him, that guy who sort of am what I appear to be here that we shouldn't be into seeing it in you to be killers as well! Don't dare to say to me that he's not a killer that Andrew! Don't dare not to view yourself as the potential killer of a conspirator with both him and the ones who assist in his representation of me amongst the assumed to be mediocre, but who are actually of really good help for us at the newspaper sometimes!”

Leslie looked at him again. This time she felt an astonishment over his attitude. “How can I speak to a someone who's not here to represent himself!? What the fuck do you think we are around here?! Some actors whom you can just use for that game your trying to pull?! I, for one, don't like it! Why,” she turned to Peter, “do you try to fake that his attitude isn't very immature!? And why the fuck should we all have to accept that shit from him!?”

Peter ignored her. Instead he looked at Carl and said: “I propose we both go to that gathering where the journalists present the issue about the good people's assumptions! Then, perhaps, they can happen to let us in to the feeling of what should be said in the media!”

Carl seemed introspective about what his friend said. “Okay,” he answered. “Let's go there and have them seem good enough to present that attitude about themselves for us! Let's go there and find out how to make Andrew seem even more like Ben! I suppose you and I should be the ones to leave for it, when it's time for it. But I suppose Leslie couldn't come whit us?!”

“No!” a girl named Ashley broke in. “No way that Leslie should be trusted about it! But in a sense, she should be there to learn something. So I propose she come with us to have it she's Annie Brown!”

“I couldn't pretend to be Annie Brown any more than he can pretend to be that journalist of some kind! And besides, why should we go to a journalists' meeting when we don't even have the educations for knowing how to run a newspaper?!”

Ben, as it seemed, glared at her. “We shouldn't put up with this kind of behaviour! Even so, Leslie, you aught to try to learn what the advantages of this so-called theater is about! I propose you go there this evening, and try to be Annie, and then also have her grateful for being represented amongst them!”

“Oh, gosh! How can this hocus-pocus be something that I'll have to learn here! I thought this was a serious club! How the fuck do you expect me to want to learn that?!”

Ashley and radiated modishness when she looked at her and answered: “We don't feel you should not be into the same kind of clarity on the ones whom they seem to be as us! Even so, they should never be able to find out that from you! It isn't we, it's they who will be seen as the lunatics who never underestimate their capacity! It's they, not us, who will never be careful in the contexts of public attention! Therefore you should be careful what you say here, because we never seem to be the ones we are, unless we can be taken as small stuff! For instance, I'm not Ashley if I want to be that small-stuff girl whom doesn't get the point of being superb so that everyone can see it! Now your not Leslie - can you follow? - unless you wanna be that small-stuff woman who doesn't pertain to actual superb attitudes about herself! ... Now, if you get that part, Annie, you don't have to fret anymore about the public opinions! Just remember that Leslie will take care of it!”

Leslie looked thoughtful. But she also was drawn to the high regard of a self in Annie, whom she almost seemed to seem to be, even without any effort for trying to pretend. She straightened her back, then, and said: “You all should view me as Annie, then! But you all should be clear on it: I am not Annie when I come back to the naive attitudes of that Leslie Stephenson! And thereby, I propose, I am not Leslie now, because I want to feel part of this company! And I want to take par tin the atmosphere around here!”

“Good! Great!” and “Annie, your very welcome with us!” people greeted the newcomer.