Saturday, February 27, 2016
“I don't feel comfortable about it!” Sonya said. “I mean all the suggestive porn we have around here!”
Her two brothers looked at her. The younger one, Richard, answered: “I sort of don't like it either, actually. I mean i really fancied it to begin with. But nowadays I feel rather fed up with it.”
“Me too,” the eldest one said and cleared his throat. “I actually feel that their into so pointless sex that it's rather boring in the long run.”
“I feel, that we've actually been tricked by them, you and I,” Richard answered him, “into fancying it to the degree that neither one of us can fancy sex without that edge to it anymore. Or at least I feel that way about it!” he exclaimed.
“Yeah, me too” his brother said.
Sonya looked at them. “I feel they are trying to harass me into feeling that way. I mean into feeling that I have to fancy that stuff for real! What has happened to you guys upon that you fell into their trap?!”
Her two brothers were silent for a while, then the younger one spoke: “I guess we both felt embarrassed unless we fancied it to begin with. What happened to me after introducing myself to that type of fancy is mostly that I began feeling blunt and so. As for Patrick, I guess he feels the same, but off course you better speak for yourself old bro!”
Patrick said nothing at first. Then he began slowly telling them that he felt more than just blunt about it. He said he felt both and humiliation he couldn't quite describe, he said.
“Really!?” his siblings said.
He sighed. “Yeah, really that bad. But in a sense I felt I had to enjoy for a fairly long time, you know when we were new here and only I was a teenager. Now that the two of you are fourteen, I guess I should tell you again about how they seemed to be so clever at seducing me and then simply left me for the fool who paid them for actually leaving me with my shame and my guilt!”
“I feel it's silly to say that they didn't seduce you old bro,” Richard said. But Sonya broke in and said:”I feel that you shouldn't have fancied them in the first place. Even though they - and who are they, actually - seems to have pressured you into believing in them, I feel that those whores are nothing that they want to seem to be about, and that they're nothing of value to anyone with the right fancy of things!”
Patrick stared downwards, his gaze sort emptying out, it seemed with the notions he had of - was it of himself - or was it of something else? ... “I know!” he said at last.
Sonya looked at him with pity. “Oh, Patrick, I'm sorry if I just insulted you for what you already are into hating yourself for! I can't suppose it's not easy for you! ... Even I could have, I guess, fallen for at least one or two of those gigolos who are also out there!”
“I feel,” Patrick said finally, “that you and he, Sonya, don't seem to care for the notions of the attitudes that I have warned you for. I feel that there's no reason for us to pay attention to those gigolos nor whores any more.”
Sonya and Patrick looked at him. Then Patrick glanced at Sonya and then looked back. “I guess there's not any big deal about simply having it they're idiots apart from the seductive capacity they all have! How about we all, including our parents perhaps, start seeing that in them. I mean in a different sense than to religiously or something try to pretend as though we were sort chosen to be better!”
“Yeah! I think we should!” Sonya burst out. Richard, too seemed to agree. “Yes let's to that!” he said. But then after a short break he added: “I feel that we both, I and you, Sonya, are wise now in the sense that we probably can't be caught in the trap of the prostitutes or the other pornographers. But I feel also that we are not, probably, wise enough to be able to handle any embarrassment or harassment they might do to us! I mean somewhere dons the line, it seems, some of them are gonna start having it we are stuck up unless we try to fake that we're into the same kinds of thinking as they are! Right? ... Sonya? ... Patrick?”
His two siblings looked at one another. Sonya began saying that she wasn't sure about what he meant when her older brother broke in and answered: “I feel that they are not gonna harass us since we all now know what they're into!”
Sonya shrugged. “No, I guess not, then!” she said.
Richard looked at the two of them. “I feel there's no embarrassment, actually, anymore, to the extent that I can see it in them to be nothing but the frauds they are. But how about you, though, old bro? you have seemed to be into thinking about them as though they supposedly could have been wise if they only were out of that lifestyle. In a sense I think that will be a trap for him!” he added, looking at his sister, who took notice and seemed rather thoughtful for a while, during which she began saying that she wanted them both to feel safe about themselves. “Because it seems,” she said, “that they all are going to find us to be naively innocent or so, and by that notion insinuate that we should be into sex of their awful kind!”
Her brothers both looked rather thoughtful at this. After a while they both said that they agreed. Patrick added that they “might not have to be into caring about it, their bullying, I mean. But we might all need to become more proud and confident in, not only ourselves, but also in truth, decency and so.”
“I meant that!” Sonya replied.
“Okay. But it seems I and not you was able to say it, then, sis!”
“Anyway,” he added, “I expect to be going to college fairly soon. Because, after all, since we moved here, they - I mean our parents - have been saving money for it. I'm not sure if you know it actually, but hey really did say that they were gonna move with us to a cheap neighbourhood because they wanted to make sure the money they saved for my college education, and yours too, would be enough!”
Sonya looked thoughtful and replied: “I guess they can have said that sort of a thing!” Richard agreed, but looked thoughtful and added:
“But then what shall we expect of ourselves once we're there?! Do they expect us to be able to cope with higher-class class mates who seem to have it we are into actually being beneath them?”
“I don't know what they feel we should say to ourselves about that. But perhaps we aught to just leave it be until we're there, apart from simply sticking together about not becoming bad just because we live in a bad neighbourhood!”
His two younger siblings seemed to agree.''
“Then why don't we all,” Patrick added, “fancy ourselves as seemingly that wise and smart, so that our rotten neighbourhood doesn't get at us very much?!”
“Obviously we shall!” his younger siblings answered.