Jasmine smiled smugly while announcing
that that she had been in a porn movie. Her four friends, Anita,
Sharlene, Christine and Cecilia, looked at her with mixed feelings of
amazement, disbelief and apprehension. “I can't swear they're not
looking at it!” she said and continued with a ginger softness. “I
feel, that they are pigs in that they don't see that I don't want to
be understood as the type of girl who'd actually do this if it hadn't
been for that creepy Peter.” She looked at them.
Three of them seemed to think whoever
looked at her flick was a creep, almost as much as Peter. But
Sharlene didn't seem to to apprehend that it would be the men, not
Jasmine herself, who would suggest she be interpreted as the
excitement to be had. She did however comprehend that Peter was to be
seen as the scoundrel behind it all.
Cecilia looked thoughtful for a while,
then she proclaimed: “I too have been into porn! But I was with
another dodger than that louse Peter, to say the least, that is!”
“What do you mean?”Anita and
Jasmine both asked.
“Oh, it was four years ago, when I
was a junior in college, that four guys took advantage of me. It
seemed to me at the time that they were into friendship and
geniality, but they were all about sex, as it seems to me now,
afterwards. One of them was awfully skilled about –
How should I say this? –
Ehm, he pretended thoroughly that he and the other three were
all about good things, when they were into reprehensible stuff. He
also insinuated about guys who probably weren't into such stuff, that
it would be naive to trust them!”
It was silent for a few seconds.
“How come,” Jasmine asked, “did
they find the extravagance (which they themselves had manipulated you
into) to be authentic or safe enough to let themselves be stupefied
by? Because that's what you mean, right?”
She sighed. “I guess they felt that
seeing it would nurture their might or something.”
“Oh,” Jasmine uttered. “And the
guys who looked at it later, they too then or what?”
“They seem to be into to me as
something to believe in as if I had been promising them to be
extravagant for their sake! Some even try to contact me, and expect
me to assume there is no fallback to their pursuit of me!”
Christine looked at her. “Cecilia,”
she said, “I don't have it men are into that just because they've
been watching you – or other,
voluntary or not, porn stars – that they must be horny enough to
always ask for it. But I assume that it can be awkward to deal with
them, since they assume your open for it.”
Cecilia
looked back at her and said: “I assume they are all assholes for
the sake of pretending it's masculine to be into sex as an indulgence
for me to have for their sake!”
“Well,
then,” Jasmine answered, “Perhaps I can take that stands too. ...
That would help me, I guess, to find myself responsible enough not to
be a token of their pretensions and at the same time fanciable enough
to be aspired for as the type of woman who is really into what many
of their kind ask for.”
“But,”
Sharlene inquired, “how about that perhaps they can't then find it
in you to be sensible enough to care about points of view that aren't
exactly theirs, but which have been imposed upon them by media or
so?”
“I
don't find it in them to actually care. Instead I find it in them to
be foolish enough not to be dealt with as actual fellow human
beings.”
“Uh,
ah! I see!” Jasmine responded. “Is it worth it never to give
them a moment of appreciation, whether or no they ask for it, then?”
Cecilia giggled. “I know it's not true that they all are assholes! But I find it in them that they can be treated as such. So it is, whether or not they are bad enough to have to be taken that way, I still can see to it that they seem to be getting what they deserve, if they are simple enough to believe they can actually try to get me to do those things for them!”
Cecilia giggled. “I know it's not true that they all are assholes! But I find it in them that they can be treated as such. So it is, whether or not they are bad enough to have to be taken that way, I still can see to it that they seem to be getting what they deserve, if they are simple enough to believe they can actually try to get me to do those things for them!”
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